Baker: Unanswered questions

Editor’s note: Kathy wrote this column 20 years ago, and she’s still trying to find answers. The column uses “we” because the questions here are ones she asks herself, as well as her readers.

Why is it that, though we all agree the best things in life aren’t things, we constantly invest so much of our energy in acquiring things? Why does it have to be a Van Gogh, a Lexus or a Versace, instead of simply a pretty picture, a car that runs or a dress that fits?

Why do we applaud leaders who lead us into things that, deep down inside, we know are wrong? Why can’t corporations, religious institutions and politicians ever say they’ve made a mistake? Didn’t their mothers teach them to say, “I’m sorry”? Don’t we all make mistakes?

Why do kids get high praise for conforming to traditional patterns? What might that non-conforming, weirdly dressed, blunt kid have to offer? Why do we teach kids our prejudices instead of confessing that our attitudes might be wrong?

Why is it always the other guy’s fault? Why do we spend so much time looking outside of ourselves for that which can only be found within? Why do we speak harshly or impolitely to our family, when we wouldn’t dream of doing so to strangers? Why do we get so impatient with other drivers? Why are we certain we understand the motives of others when we don’t listen to them?

Are Palestinian children’s lives less valuable than Israeli children’s? Are Israeli children’s lives less valuable than Palestinian children’s? Why do both sides in any conflict always believe God is on their side? Is there such a thing as a “just” war? Is war an effective way to achieve peace?

Why is it so hard to love our neighbor, especially when we don’t agree with them? Is it because we don’t love ourselves? When will feeding, protecting, loving and educating the world’s children—all the world’s children—be our rallying cry, instead of flag-waving, arguing, dissension and war? When will we learn that fostering the best in others will only make us better?

What would our cities and schools be like, if we gave them the money we spend on building stadiums, buying expensive entertainment packages and paying astronomical salaries to athletes? What would happen to our communities if we invested in the arts, at a grassroots level, the amount spent on lottery tickets? How would it change the world if we turned off the TV and read a book or invested an hour in a child, a garden or volunteering?

Why don’t we throw parades to celebrate more real heroes of the world — the parents, teachers, clergy, social workers, nurses, janitors, bus drivers, counselors and others who keep the world humming along, who do their part — and more — without expectation of reward, just because it’s right? Why are we instead so impressed with those who have money and fame?

Why don’t we revere and respect our elders, instead of glorifying the young and the beautiful (often exploiting them in the process)? Why do some people vilify, mock and incarcerate people who have mental illnesses? Why is there such a stigma to this particular form of illness? Why can’t our culture accept that sexual orientation is not a “preference”? Why do we define everyone and everything according to how they differ from us? Are we the norm? What are we missing when we refuse the gifts of those who are “different” from us? Why do people use the name of God to justify ungodly beliefs and behavior? Why does everyone believe their version of God is the only correct one?

Where is the “news” in our sensationalized, soap opera-like news programs? Why don’t we feel a need to educate ourselves about local, national and international issues? Are we afraid that more knowledge would change us? Would that be a bad thing?

What does the term “family values” signify? Whose family are we talking about? Does “family values” have to mean the same thing to me as it does to you to be valid?

How can someone say they believe in protecting all life, yet also support the death penalty? Why does our society warehouse non-violent criminals instead of expecting them — and helping them — to be rehabilitated, so they can make meaningful contributions to society?

Why do we travel hundreds of miles to picturesque places to watch the sun rise…when it rises every day, right here at home? Why can’t we laugh more, loosen up, judge less, smell the flowers, hug a child…and our neighbor? Why can’t we be good to ourselves, forgive ourselves, love ourselves…and see the beauty and grace inherent in all things, and in all people? Why can’t we?