Baker: The key to happiness? Thanksgiving

You’re about to receive a thanksgiving gift. No, I didn’t forget to capitalize the “t” in “thanksgiving.” This gift has nothing to do with turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie or spending a day with your favorite (or not-so-favorite) relatives. The gift being offered to you, by several authors and philosophers, including myself, is even better than that.  In fact, it’s priceless.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ it will be enough.” Far be it from me to challenge that statement, made in the Middle Ages by the theologian and philosopher, Meister Eckhart. Indeed, I respectfully suggest Eckhart could have gone even further. I believe that “thank you” is not only enough; it is the key to unlocking every form of contentment attainable in life.

Reams have been written about the effect “thank you” has on the person being thanked, but I’m more intrigued by how it impacts the person who offers it. Being appreciative opens our heart; enables us to see abundance all around and within us; reduces our blood pressure; decreases stress and (yes!) makes us happy. In short, if we could bottle and sell the benefits of gratitude, the world would be transformed.

Imagine that you just received the most amazing form of happiness imaginable. A mega-million lottery win… being handed the keys to a house custom-built and furnished to your exact wishes…healing of an incurable disease…meeting the love of your life…having your child rescued from grave danger…well, you get the idea.

After recovering from the shock of receiving such a gift, wouldn’t you be, above all, thankful? As your rescued child fell into your open arms, as the check, the keys or the prize was placed in your hot little hands, wouldn’t your first thought be “thank you”? 

I believe we should also feel that way about the so-called small things. Perhaps even the everyday frustrations in life. We should feel absolutely bowled over, simply by waking up each morning. We can even be thankful for sitting in traffic, rummaging around in the car for change to pay highway tolls, taking the trash out, and cleaning the cat box. The truly enlightened might even find something praiseworthy about having a headache or the flu. Why? Because there is at least a tiny bit of good to be found in every experience (yes, even the not-so-good ones), and because, if we have to win the lottery in order to feel thankful, we’re in trouble.  

And then there’s this: Every culture, every religion, every civilization, from ancient times onward, has discovered the same secret to contentment. I have exciting news: the key to joy is appreciation. 

Do you feel thankful when you find $10 in your coat pocket? How about if you find one dollar? Do you feel blessed when you get to see a friend? Do you give thanks when you hear a toddler giggling in church, or when you cuddle a tiny kitten in your arms? Such simple joys are meant to be cherished as much or more than the larger ones. In the words of Ralph Blum: “There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.”  

You might feel breathless with thanksgiving when you see a glorious sunset or sunrise, a stunning waterfall, the ocean, canyons, mountains and valleys, but how about when you see a single sparrow or a butterfly in a garden? I find that each of these sights evoke a heartfelt, “Thank you, God!”

Each “thank you” opens additional avenues for praise: According to Persian mystic Rumi: “To praise the sun is to praise your own eyes.” Think of the chain reaction of gratitude that statement implies: after praising your eyes, you might praise the doctor who prescribed the eyeglasses you wear to help you see the sun; and then, the workers at the factory that made your glasses. And the appreciation goes on and on.

Have you ever felt grateful for a simple word or two spoken to you at just the right moment? A stranger says you’ve helped them; a friend mentions a trait they admire in you. The words are few; the moment fleeting, but the effect is lasting. This brings to mind this simple Japanese proverb: “One kind word can warm three winter months.”  So true!

Have you noticed that those who have suffered the most sometimes have a greater capacity for appreciation? Consider Elie Wiesel, the world-renowned Nobel laureate, activist and Holocaust survivor, who said: “No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” Thank you, Elie!

On Thanksgiving and all other days, contentment can be ours. The key is simply to find ways to appreciate, moment by moment, whatever is before us.  

I hope that the quotes sprinkled through my meanderings are as inspiring to you as they are to me. Here is just one more, by Sam Lefkowitz: “When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I’m thankful I have a cup.” Amen, Sam.