Baker: A lesson from The Velveteen Rabbit

Do you remember the classic book, “The Velveteen Rabbit,” by Margery Williams? It’s the delightful tale of a stuffed bunny that becomes real. If you can suspend the grownup, practical voice that says, “Yeah, right! As if a stuffed animal can become real” you might just learn something. Because all the best children’s stories offer meaningful messages for people of all ages.

Here we go! In essence, we learn from the Rabbit’s journey that love can make us “real.”  We find that becoming real is often an uncomfortable process— but well worth it just the same.

The Velveteen Rabbit belonged to a little boy who loved him. Gradually, his handling of the Rabbit caused its velveteen fur to wear away. His kisses caused the pink to wear off of the bunny’s nose.  His hugs left the Rabbit’s seams loose and his innards saggy.  But in the final analysis, the bunny became real… and his losses became unimportant. 

Isn’t that how it is with us, too?  The very experiences that cause us the most pain often become the pathway to tremendous growth. Let’s listen to a conversation between the Velveteen Rabbit and his friend, the Skin Horse, which begins the rabbit’s journey towards becoming real.

“What is REAL?” the Rabbit asked his friend, the Skin Horse, one day.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are real, though, you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” the Rabbit asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time.”

The boy continued to love the Velveteen Rabbit, taking his beloved companion wherever he went.  In the process, the Rabbit became more and more unsightly— at least to the rest of the world. But the Rabbit was so happy that he never even noticed how shabby he was becoming. That’s because his focus was on loving the boy. He was becoming real.

And the Rabbit’s dedication was rewarded. One day, the boy’s nanny was annoyed when he insisted on having the Velveteen Rabbit at bedtime. She said: “It’s just a toy.”  But the boy said: “You mustn’t say that. He isn’t a toy. He’s REAL!”  

When the little Rabbit heard this he was very happy.  He knew he was no longer merely a stuffed bunny.  The boy himself had said it: he was real! As the story tells us, the Rabbit “was almost too happy to sleep, and so much love stirred in his little sawdust heart that it almost burst.”

However, even when we know we are real, the road can be difficult, as the Velveteen Rabbit found out. The boy became quite ill and, when he recovered, his bunny was discarded. (The doctor, you see, thought he was full of germs.) While lying on a pile of trash, the Rabbit felt that being real didn’t help him much. Despair overtook him. He said to himself:  “Of what use is it to be loved and become real if it all ends like this?”

Don’t we question this ourselves? Even if we’ve done the work needed to become real, even if we’re doing our very best, don’t we nevertheless lose our way sometimes? In the end, though, the Velveteen Rabbit triumphed… and we can too!  

Margery Williams’ beautiful tale goes on to tell us that, as the bunny lay crying on the trash heap, he was visited by a beautiful fairy, who gathered him up in her arms and kissed him on his velveteen nose. She told him that, when playthings are old and worn out and children don’t need them any more, she comes and makes them real.

“Wasn’t I real before?” asked the little Rabbit. “You were real to the boy,” the fairy said, “because he loved you. Now you shall be real to everyone.”

So the fairy made him into a real rabbit. He gave a leap of joy and began whirling around and around with the other rabbits in the woods nearby. His reward had come at last. He was real!

I hope you will remember this beautiful story when you’re experiencing difficulty being real, when you are tempted to mask your authentic self. When you question whether you are loved. Focus on giving love… and you’ll succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Just like the Velveteen Rabbit.