I see you. I am here for you. I will not turn away. You matter to me. These words are an example of what it means to “bear witness.” We see — we witness — many things in our everyday lives, but bearing witness is something else. For example, you may witness a car crash— or its aftermath. You see it in the distance as you drive by. To bear witness is to be wholly present: for instance, if you were right there at the scene of the car crash as it happened, you might hold the hand of the driver as they crawl out of their wrecked car. You might give them some water, or call 911 for them.
Witnessing is passive; it doesn’t call you to action. Bearing witness is involvement. We speak of a pregnant woman as “bearing” a child. She is intimately connected to that child as it grows in her womb. She carries it— in her heart and in her body. When we bear witness, we are carrying someone’s situation in our hearts. We let it in; we feel empathy. We are fully present.
The congregation at Unity Chapel of Light in Tallmadge, where I am a frequent Sunday service speaker, collects non-perishable food once a month for those in need in the Tallmadge area. Sending money certainly helps; yet, visualizing a family in need and taking time to purchase food for them is a more active way of bearing witness to their situation. It is a way of saying, “I see you, young mother. I see your need. I see you feeding your child with the cereal and peanut butter I provided to you. I won’t turn away from you. You matter to me.”
A friend of mine told me about a longtime friend of hers who called her each morning, to say hi and check in on her. That woman recently passed away, and my friend misses her. She also greatly misses that morning phone call, because she lives alone and that daily connection reminded her that she exists, that she matters.
Because I lived alone for quite awhile myself, I could understand my friend’s need to feel seen. So, now I text her a picture or a short message each morning. I think of her as I choose the picture or the words. I hold her in my heart. I am bearing witness to her existence and saying to her, “I see you. You matter to me.”
In the last couple of months, it seems I’ve been surrounded by the pain of others. People whom I love. People I don’t know well, but care about. People who are dealing with serious illnesses; their own or that of a loved one. People who are grieving, despairing, heartbroken. In many ways, I feel that all I’m doing is standing around, feeling powerless. How, I wonder, do I bear witness for them? What can I do?
Do you ever feel that way? That holding someone in your thoughts and prayers, calling them, sending cards or dropping off a casserole, just isn’t enough? I certainly do. As a minister, I’ve found that sitting quietly with someone can be the best way to bear witness to their pain. It is also one of the most difficult things to do. It takes practice to simply be present, without offering advice; often without offering words at all. And yet, letting someone else’s pain into your heart is perhaps the most powerful form of bearing witness we can give.
By doing so, we create an environment where they can hear their own thoughts, and feel their own feelings. In that silent space, the other person’s pain or anger or frustration enters your heart, your mind. Thus, you are bearing their pain, anger or frustration. You are bearing witness to it.
Of course, sometimes we cannot be physically present with someone who needs comfort. They may not allow us to sit with them, or they may be too far away geographically for us to do so. We may not even know them, yet we know of their needs— like that young mother in Tallmadge. Holding them in your mind, visualizing them, letting them into your heart does truly bear witness to their situations. You are saying, “I see you. I am here for you. I will not turn away. You matter to me.”
“They also serve, who only stand and wait.” These words were written in the seventeenth century by poet John Milton. Daring to alter his words a bit, I leave you with this: “They also serve, who only stand and bear witness.”