Years ago — eons ago, actually — I wrote an article entitled, “What I Know for Sure.” It was about things I could count on not to change, things that were written in stone, so to speak.
Lately I’m asking myself that question again: what do I know for sure? In a time of seismic shifts in our country and its culture (not for the better, at the moment), I am reminded that the older I get, the less I know. Life is complicated, after all. But I do know a few things for sure.
One thing I know for sure — and I learned this the hard way — is that our attitude towards life determines how successful we are. Happiness isn’t a goal; it’s a byproduct of our choices. Embracing change helps, because change is the only given in life, other than death and taxes. Attitudes of bitterness and anger hurt us more than they do the other guy. Self-esteem is an inside job, patience and kindness are virtues, and the present moment is all we have.
Something else I know for sure is the importance of faith. To me, faith is investing belief, time and energy into something (God, family, work, service) bigger than yourself. Spirituality is the truest expression of faith because we are spiritual beings, regardless of whether or not we are religious.
What else do I know for sure? That gratitude helps us realize how much we have, how perfect the plan for our lives is. If we don’t take anything for granted, we are constantly grateful. “Thank you” is the most perfect prayer of all. Gratitude teaches us that abundance has nothing to do with money. Remember: he who dies with the most money is still dead. Be thankful for the abundance you have.
I also know for sure that a sense of humor greases the skids in life. Laughter really is the best medicine; it releases healing endorphins; it lowers our blood pressure; it warms our hearts. And learn to laugh at yourself. Example: what happens if you dash into the grocery store with filthy hair, sans makeup? You bump into someone you haven’t seen in years, who recoils in horror upon seeing how you really look. Is this a tragedy? Heck, no. So, as you stand there, looking like a refugee from a rag bag, console yourself with some chocolate. And laugh!
Something else I know for sure: life is mysterious. Why, for instance, do we often experience deeper-than-ever joys after experiencing a painful loss? And how does time, even if it doesn’t heal our wounds, somehow make them easier to bear? And why do problems seem more manageable in daylight than at midnight?
What’s the most important thing I know for sure? Love. Love is all that matters. Love of our family, our friends, our enemies, ourselves. Though hearts are fragile and need to be handled gently, there is nothing fragile about love. It is the strongest, most enduring force of all.
I know for sure being a mother has been the most amazing, most rewarding journey my life has ever known. Ups, downs, worries, laughter, excitement: it’s like an action movie that never ends. Now, I reap the rewards of looking at my kids and seeing that all is well. And looking at two special little girls in my life, I can tell you for sure that there is nothing more delicious than being a grandmother. Unless it’s being a bride again, at my advanced age, as I will be in a few months. But that’s a story for another day.
Speaking of love, the older I get, the more I cherish my friends. Where would I be without them? When your kids grow up and get immersed in their own lives, when others you love pass away or walk away, your friends are there. Through all your joys and sorrows, they stand by to laugh and dance with you, they cheer you along, absorb some of your pain, and promise things will get better. They believe in you wholeheartedly. For sure.
Love, that thing that is all that really matters, that thing above all things that I know for sure, is an action, not merely a feeling. The sleepless nights and frustrations and pain it brings us are insignificant, because love is a precious jewel, worth whatever it costs. We were created for love. To love and be loved, as someone once said, is the greatest joy on earth. Believe it!
And now…what do you know for sure?
Kathy Baker is a writer and speaker, a messenger of encouragement who loves to touch hearts and tickle souls with her work. She is the author of “Leaving Adversity Plaza,” and “A Tale of Three Choices: His, Hers, Mine.” She loves hearing from her readers and can be reached at [email protected].