Although I wrote this on the official first day of spring, in our neck of the woods we never quite know when to trust that winter is truly over. It might be today, tomorrow, or April (or May?) before all chances of snow are past. I think of spring as a lovely young woman, winking at us from over her shoulder, as she sashays in and out of Northeast Ohio. Unpredictability, I believe, is just part of her very considerable charm.
News flash: did you know it’s possible to have springtime whenever you want? I consider spring — that time of new life, change and growth — a choice. It begins whenever we embrace it in our hearts. Spring-like qualities can be ours today, tomorrow or in January. Sadly, though, for some of us, April never comes. Instead, we may choose to hibernate permanently, like sleepy old bears hunkered down in their caves. Or we might be just the opposite: we may live our lives endlessly on the run, like a hamster on a wheel. Either extreme makes it hard to live a full, joyous life.
The truth is: if we focus on wintry experiences, it will continue to be winter in our hearts. If we expect life to be miserable, it will be. Luckily, the opposite is also true: if we focus on spring, anticipating its joys and gifts, we will feel energized. That’s because the very first place spring shows up is in our hearts.
Here’s a case in point: I know someone who is competent, caring, fun-loving and compassionate. Nothing remarkable about that, you might say. Most of us have those characteristics, to varying degrees. But what makes my friend remarkable is that he struggles daily against a dark shadow that threatens his serenity. To stay in sync with joy, humor and peace takes constant vigilance; he must work his wellness plan to keep depression from gaining a foothold, and to keep his focus on the present moment. He cannot take wellness for granted because, like millions of others, my friend lives with bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depression), a mood-altering illness that has impacted every part of his life and, indeed, almost taken his life.
That’s the wintry part of the illness. But springtime is present as well. The disorder helps him savor the present, making him more positive, loving and generous than ever before. Have you noticed that those who face daily challenges — cancer, mental illness, physical disabilities, grief, to name a few — are often more vibrant, more upbeat than others?
A paradox? Not at all. Pain and uncertainty put our lives in sharp focus; being in a constant state of flux spurs us on to make conscious choices about how we will live. So, those who face daily battles take nothing for granted. They tend to be strong, inspiring lovers of life, simply because they’ve had to fight so hard to stay on track.
Just as there are spring-like people, there are spring-like places. Last night, my BFF and I went out to dinner at Laziza in downtown Kent and found both. It was first-day-of-spring-eve, and the customers and staff all seemed to have spring fever; understandable, since it was another one of those precious, warm, balmy days we’ve been gifted with lately. The hostess escorted us to a prime location near a window. Our server was an engaging, people-loving young man who made every aspect of our visit a pleasure.
My friend and I meet for dinner monthly. This time was extra special; we reminisced with deep gratitude about our 27-year friendship, recalling many fond memories. We speculated about nearby diners: were the two men seated next to us father and son? I thought not; she thought yes. We noticed someone who had a price tag sticking out of his shirt. We wanted to let him know but thought he might feel embarrassed if we brought it to his attention. We saw a couple of rather scantily clad young women passing by outside. Trying to recall myself at that age, I wondered if I was ever that young. I concluded: probably not, considering I was married at 19 and became a mother at barely 20.
You know what? I believe I am living my life in reverse. I’m giddy with joy in springtime–and lots of other times too, in ways I wasn’t when I was younger. I’m supposedly old now, yet I feel that I’m just getting started. When I was actually young, I often felt that I was in the winter of my life. Now that I am truly at that stage, I feel lighter, more content, and vibrantly alive. Like I said, springtime is more a choice than a time of year. Or a time of life.
Just remember: spring can show up in your heart anytime, even in the dead of winter, if you invite it in. So, let’s become festive, happy “spring things,” celebrating life and love each day. And, who knows; maybe our sunny attitude could even coax the first crocus to bloom just a little bit sooner. Or someone’s face may turn from a frown to a smile, just because we smiled first. You never know.
Kathy Baker is a writer and speaker, a messenger of encouragement who loves to touch hearts and tickle souls with her work. She is the author of “Leaving Adversity Plaza,” and “A Tale of Three Choices: His, Hers, Mine.” She loves hearing from her readers and can be reached at [email protected].